e n d i a n c e @ l j . c o m

MOVED to KELAUDE~

2009-02-18T07:15:44Z

I have been a bad friend....I know. T____T Been missing for a whole year and then suddenly come back?

I mean, WTF is wrong with me?! TWT

I'm very sorry about what happened. I was wondering if I can add you guys back? I know some of you have already moved journals...so Imma stalk you guys again. Can we start over?

If you guys want do...

Feel free to add me in my new journal. Just made it.

MOVED TO

kelaude </strong></span></a></div>

Fanfic: Tin Soldier, Yunjae (2/??)

2008-10-06T09:56:15Z

I posted this on Winglin.net. >D

Title: Tin Soldier
Pairing/Characters: Yunjae
Rating: NC-17
Author: endiance
Status: Chaptered (2/??)
Genre: Romance, Angst,
Summary: He was like a walking tin soldier, the odd one standing out, so in order to move on with his life, he took up two jobs. But what he didn't know is that his life is being overrun by a series of events. If it's a sin to steal, then it is definitely a sin to love someone who he had sinned once.
Warning: A take on the realistic side of human beings. Attempted rape. Angst. Abuse. And most important of all, smutty scenes.

Chapter: 1 | 2

Tin Soldier

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Chapter Two
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The little dancer stretched out both her arms, and raised her leg up high in the sky, that the tin soldier could not see at all, and he thought that she, like himself, had only one leg. He was stunned at how beautiful the being was. Now he wasn’t left out.

“That is the wife for me,” he thought, his mind wandering off on its own, wishing that he had the courage to tell her how much she loved her.

Only the dancer and the brave tin soldier remained in their places. She stood on tiptoe with her legs stretched out as he did on his one leg. He never took his eyes from her for even a short moment. She was too blinding, too mesmerizing.

“Tin soldier…Do not wish for something which don’t belong to you…” A voice had said out loud, but he paid the warning no heed, his eyes wandered across the nursery straight into the little dancer he loved.

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I woke up with a start, clutching the hairs of my head to ease the pounding headache which seared though my brain. They cut. And like most cuts, they hurt like hell. I tried to force my eyelids to snap open so I could see where I am right now but the searing pain did nothing to help, except that the pain was starting to go numb and hopefully, it would diminish into nothing more but a fading piece of memory.

Yesterday night must had been a dream, a terrible nightmare which I had grown accustomed to for the past years. Whoever I had decided to sleep with and whoever the highest bidder was, he had no connection to Jung Yunho or whatsoever. That was the most definite answer I had given myself for every reasons they managed to counter back.

Like I had a choice. It was the only one I could come up with, with all of those ripping images flowing in my thoughts as I shook my head once more to clear my hazy mind. The scenery which greeted me like every other morning was like fire to me, blinding me the moment I set my large black eyes on it and also causing my back to tremble in pain. Damn it. Whoever did me last night did me good and hard, until stripping off me the ability to stand and sit properly without putting more burden on my aching back.

It was annoying and devastatingly awkward. I have a reputation at stake here. Normally, at this time of the day, I would have already left for home but the searing pain in my back told me otherwise. Ugh. I hated my life. Pushing my back against the bed post, a loud yelp tore out of my sore lips as I tried to sit up straight, hands struggling to fluff up the pillows to make it more comfortable for my aching back.

There I sat, helpless and clueless about who my captive have been. I wondered vaguely if it might really be him. The one. If it was really him… nah! He couldn’t be. There was no freaking way that man could still be here, not after what I had done…not after the times when we had sinned. I promised myself that I would forget. I promised my self that I could be safe sometime later in the future , even when I turned old and wrinkly, someone would still be there to save me…from my curse.

A deadly one. An unnerving one. One that needed to pull the reluctant trigger. For who knows, my heart may not be burnt again, only scarred for life, never once a man had decided to help with the healing. It was a tough process. One that I was so sure that nobody would have wanted to go through. I drawn in a deep breath, stabilizing myself so I wouldn’t topple over since I was sitting so close to the edge. Even if I did, no one would be there to stretch their arms wide and open just to catch me from my fall.

Never in my entire life. I was a creature of perfect destruction. So please….don’t hurt me. I don’t know how long am I going take this anymore. Please… Be gentle with me. Please. I beg of you.

The clock struck eight. It was time for me to leave for work. Besides, I promised Yongyi I would be home by night. If the girl realized that I was gone., she would have cried at how I had lied to her. If that was a matter big enough to hurt her, just wait till she learnt of the truth. I swore, my life was never this miserable. Staggering down the bed, I flinched as the pain started to subside, leaving a certain level of numbness behind in its wake.

This wasn’t the first time I experienced this. The thing was the other days were not this rough, this wild! I knew though, about the reason why they came to see me, came to adore me, fought for me was all a complete utter lie. Nobody could resist a face like mine. Nobody. Not even my father, my mother or my sister for that matter. People befriended me for this reason. My face is the most precious thing in the whole entire world. I don’t think I could ever live without it.

After all, they loved me so much to hurt me. I could at least tried to be decent and returned their favor in more ways than one. That was what I was fated to do and I certainly was not going to forget it. Not after what they did and definitely not after what I did. They say am cold-blooded. That wasn’t necessarily true! They say I’m out of my mind. I couldn’t agree more to that. Sometimes when I looked at myself in the mirror, I could feel it staring back at me, mocking me with that ugly face of his.

“Kim Jaejoong…You’re the most pathetic man ever lived…”

Without a second thought, I would punch it straight in the face, shattering my prized possession in the world. Nobody dared to hit him except for me. I was insane. I was crazy. I did everything I needed to do to deserve this. And that was why I could never ask for more than a helping. I’m a devil in disguise but I am still your average good-looking and innocent Jaejoong. So please, don’t destroy it. Don’t show them the real me.

Please.

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Several minutes had past since I sat there, unmoving and completely oblivious to my surrounding. I was still in the same hotel, fully naked with my clothing scattered across the beautifully carpeted floor. I didn’t know what I was waiting for. Maybe a chance to look at the person who pounded so hard into me without mercy? Or maybe I just needed to confirm something to make my pounding heart feel at ease.

The faint sounds of the water drops tapping against the floor and the glass windows kept me awake. I wanted to badly to see this person. Maybe I was expecting too much? I whimpered softly. It was starting to get late. I turned again to glance decisively at the clock. 9am. A number I should be afraid of. I was late for work. I didn’t have much time to care about my forgotten Yongyi. She’s five. Perfectly old enough to take care of herself.

I bit my lips frustratingly, a habit that I gotten myself into whenever anxiety attacked. Yunho ah… I thought I have distanced myself from you but the very mention of your name caused me to break into shivers. I heard the faint sound of the tap being turned off. My heart seemed to have stop pumping as I lowered my head down to lock onto the white seeping sheet covering my lower half of the body.

The sliding creak the door emitted caused me to bury my head between my legs. What should I do? What should I do in a moment like this…? I don’t know. I was so confused. Should I make a run for it? The high amount of tension in the air was doing a fairly good job in suffocating my heart, squeezing my windpipes tight as I found my breathings had became quicker than usual.

Without knowing it, I was killing myself on the inside.

And that was one thing I never wanted to repeat again. Yongyi! Right! Who am I kidding? How on earth can a girl who just turned five two months ago take care of herself when she’s all alone? Coming back to my senses, I hurriedly dressed up, stuffing the money which was left on the end table into my pockets. Ah…Tell me why I got so worked up over this again?

I sighed and was about to move towards the door when I felt an arm reached out to clutch my wrist tightly before pulling me back roughly. I yelped out in surprise, shocked at the sudden action. His breathings were uneven. I could tell. But I firmly kept my eyes shut as I once again felt the pressure of his strong hands wheeling me around to face him. With my head lowered and his hands still gripping onto my wrists, I managed to pull back a little.

Please. I cried. I just want to move on with my life.

The next course of his actions caught me off guard as I felt an intense feeling of want and need surfacing. Yunho…You’re such a bastard. How could you do this to me? I wanted to slap him in the face. I wanted so badly to just give him a knock in that thick skull of his. But the wonderful feeling of pressure as he pressed his lips onto mine was beginning to swipe me away.

“S-stop…” I moaned into the kiss. It was so long since I had felt this strong desire of need. “S-stop…Aah!” I unexpectedly cried up as I felt a rough hand tugging hard on my belt. My eyes immediately fluttered open at that particular action, my hands gripping tightly into the cause and again, I was sinned once more. Please! Not now! “Yunho! Stop! Let me go!” It was only with a huge amount of strength that I managed to push the heavy weight off me, trying hard to suppress the groan that was threatening to rip my throat apart.

“I SAID STOP!”

Everything seemed to have stop at that very instant. The time was ticking but neither of us were moving. He stared, glaring at me with those icy cold eyes like before. It was too much. Without much more of a word, I whipped my head to the left and ran like I never ran at all. I tried to suppress my urge to cry but the feeling was too strong. I didn’t even know where I was going. I could still remembered it, the hard look the man had given me, the brief touches, the rough kiss he had forced upon me. I grimaced. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. I must be drunk. I must be crazy to actually return to his embrace!

Kim Jaejoong. Fuck you. Fuck you! Stopping at the front door of my own apartment, I gripped the side of my head, tear droplets forming on the corner of my eyes. They weren’t threatening to fall off, drop by drop like a soft rain. No. Heavy rain. That was it. I gave in to the coldness of the air, crouched down, hugged my knees tight and cried. What have you done? What have I done?

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The remaining rest of the day did not come as rewarding as I expected. It was obvious that my carefully planned plan was ruined. Everything in my life had change, from the disturbing looks the girls were giving me to the fact that nobody was willing to “buy” me anymore. I was shocked, angered and completely driven insane! It didn’t come much of a news when Yongyi had practically cried when I reached home battered and my eyes filled with tears.

She didn’t say much though but with her current state of mind, I didn’t expect her to do much. It was surprisingly, the type which shocked me so that I could prevent myself from ripping my hairs of my head. She was actually…comforting me. “Yongyi…” I had said but not before I drowned my face on her side of her neck, breaking down completely on the inside. It was too much to handle.

The sweet little girl had simply smiled. “Brother Jae…don’t worry.” Her comforting not-too-high and not-to-low melodic tone washed down all my angers and frustration. Sometimes, I felt like I really owed it to her. She’s a great child, one which I bet every happy family on the lot would like to have. She’s good at cheering you up with her innocent smile. It seemed like she had no other cares in this world as long as she had me living, breathing and walking beside her , not to mention helping and saving her from whatever that troubles.

Seeing her like this made my guilt fell even deeper than usual. I really wished! How I wished that someday she could know what a bad person I am! That I don’t deserved to be loved. I don’t deserved to be babied like this! And most importantly of all, I don’t deserve to see her being so dependant on me. It made me felt like I had committed something wrong, something sinful that I couldn’t wash away just by merely scrubbing soap on myself. Not even a visit to the church could erase the things I had done.

I wanted so badly to scream! I wanted so badly to rip everything apart and put it back again just the way it was. They can butcher me all they want but they ain’t going to get a sorry from me! Yongyi, sensing some kind of inner battle in me, just brushed her small petite soft hand and nuzzled her nose against my hair, just like a mother cat nuzzling her kitten. If this was the pure innocent love that they said I could have, you are wrong.

I did nothing to deserve this. Droplets of rain fell on my now-dried red cheeks. I thought it was rain trying to wash away my sorrows. But when I broke free from Yongyi’s tight grasp and looked up, she was sobbing. A smile forced its way to my now swollen lips as I ruffled her hair and assured her that it was nothing to be worried about. However, when she lifted up her cute little teary-eyed head, she said, “I’m sorry.”

Her words caught me off guard. From what I knew for the past years of my life with her, she did nothing to hurt me. It was then I finally understood her meaning, her small words of comfort, that I couldn’t help but whispered, “Thank you.”

However, my mind at that moment was screaming fuck you.

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For the next two days, my life as a librarian had advanced into something more of an excitement to me rather than as a dull, boring and relaxing job. I had kept my mind off some things which are better to be left unknown. And the bond between me and Yongyi had grown rather close than usual after the crying we had two days ago. I now let her sleep in the same bed as me and couldn’t but feel a bit of a completion when I woke up to a groggy-eyed child.

Although I still had that guilty and spiteful feeling whenever the child is around, I had to agree, what is my life to be without someone like her for me to look after?

My night job was the source of my problems lately. Nobody wanted to “buy” me anymore, much less even dared to look at me. They looked alarmed though whenever I tried or decided to hit on them like usual. Strangely, batting my eyelids and giving them a soft playful nudge on the shoulders seemed to scare each one of them away. Some still gave me that longing look but when I started walking towards them, they either pretended to be not interested or rudely ignored me, no matter how teasing my voice sounded. The atmosphere was getting awkward and the whole thing had gotten very frustrating.

And when I meant very. I meant very very. It was not as if my charm had been dismantled off me when Jung Yunho had basically ravished every inch of my body he could get hold on.. So what was the big deal?! I sighed angrily, gulping down a glass of whisky. I had a good mind at that time to scream at what’s wrong with me!? It was not like I got Aids or even any hand foot and mouse disease! Argh!

For two consecutive nights, I had no luck in picking up a customer or any willing males who would like to fall into my trap. My desires were rising (probably came from all those good fucks I had been having for the past few days, not to say Yunho‘s was bad.) and I seriously couldn’t care less anymore. The librarian job wasn’t paying well, and I don’t know what other jobs I can take. This was supposed to be easy money. With these looks of mine, who could resist?

Apparently, everybody here did.

Frustrated, I set my sixth glass of whisky which I have drowned in large mouthfuls onto the table. My visions were getting blurry and that hell of a headache had came back but the pain was good. Not only that, I swore it had good timing too. Placing my head onto the base of my palm, I shook my head softly, struggling to get my visions back on line. I raised my hand and rubbed my temple. Feeling more dizzier than ever, I knew I had drank too much just because that I wasn’t able to connect my thoughts altogether. Lifting the remainder of my strength, I cocked my head upwards and smiled at the dark figure blocking my view of the dim lights.

Then, everything turned black.

Note: Hmm...Late. D: Sorry about that. @.@

Cosplay Webcam night~

2008-08-17T04:41:49Z

I decided to be Kyouya for the night in my full outfit. Rofl. I haven't ask my mom to sew on the badge yet cause my blazer's texture is a bit rough. So I took a few vain pics or so that's what my cousin had said. =.=;; and uses it as my dp picture.

My cousin thought she saw Hani-senpai lurking around me. But when I put on my glasses, Kyouya came out! :0 Crazy girl. =.=;; Even William says that! My god. :0

My godbrother say I look like a guy. Rofl. And he loved the wig. :0 While Adib thought I was L cause I wasn't wearing glasses at that time. Rofl.

So we have..webcam cosplay night!

Ani tah Nana in her uberly white Near outfit. :3 She gave me a link to a Lucky Star Porn. I couldn't continue to watch it after like 7 minutes? Cause it's too intense for me. I was trying hard to stay in character by keeping a straight face. Rofl. But ish failing miserably. D:

Here's almight Tsunade with her amazing Tsunade PUNCH! Did that on poor Kyouya. T_T Cause Kyouya is being a Fagget again.

And lastly, it's me in my Kyouya outfit. Rofl. I still think I look weird.

And lastly, this couple of vain shots are for Teerah who wants to see me again. =.=;;

For those people who just wants to see Kyouya getting horneh. Go read Piang's blog and Nana's. They took a screenshot of me when I wasnt noticing. ROFL. Wonders porn can do.

So Nana got addicted to Maple once again. :0 Say she was busy trying out and buying out all of the stuffs in the cash shop. Rofl. Omg. I say Rofl. AGAIN. Need to get out of that habit soon. XD

#55. TUT TUT TUT.

2008-07-25T03:03:23Z

Okay. My dreams have so far been off lately. I got a lot of stuffs to do and my mind keep on blanking out on me. Did I do something wrong? D: Or was it that bad when I started to die out on myself. I haven't finish or attempted to do my personal statement yet. The first three paragraphs was full of shit. And I couldn't care less about it anymore. I will write it up on monday if there's even a monday for me.

Mock Exams are coming up and here I sit, mapling my eyes out, playing around with pixelated stuffs. D: IT IS A FUN GAME. Cause you get to interact with people and all. But too much mapling is killing my brains even more. Seriously. D: So for the past few days, I have been doing nothing for shits. =.= And that's TRUE! i didn't bother to do my homeworks, didn't bother to revise for the up and coming mock and didn't bother to help with the chores.

I know am lazy but I never knew I can be THIS lazy? Holy shit. What am i turning into? A lot of things happened, at HOME mostly. But if I write everything down, it would probably take up a loooooooooooong post. So yeah. And am tired of doing lj cuts. So I will just narrow it down to one small point: CURSES. D:

Yesterday, I met Nana at the local's Pasar Malam. =D IT WAS A SURPRISE. I WAS SOOO SHOCKED TO SEE HER THERE. And we bitch about the place cause it's so hot and boring. There's nothing there. =.= Didn't buy anything except for two packs of mee hoon and a cup of coconut Juice. Yes. I go there just because of the coconut juice. It's a once in a year experience and it all happened because of the Sultan's birthday.

~~And yes, I worshipped him because of the coconut juice which sells for one bucks per cup. =D~~

Of course, there's a trick to finding the best ones. After a while of tasting most of the coconut juices in the place. I found one! AND IT TASTES AWESOME. XD So we bought three cups from there to go home and drink. That was about the time when I met Nana. XD

fanfic: The Two 'F's, Aki/Mina (1/1)

2008-07-25T02:37:58Z

Title: The Two "F"s
Pairing/Characters: Akihiko/Minato
Rating: PG
Author: endiance
Status: Oneshot (1/1)
Genre: General, Humor
Summary: The two big “F”s. And if only Akihiko had got over this habit by now, there would another idle reason why he’s not snuggling in bed with his lover at the moment.

The two big “F”s. The one that always landed him on the couch. The one that had no mercy on him whenever he got kicked out of his own room and also not to mention the one which Stupei always managed to find some excuse to rub it on his face. Akihiko growled and swore loudly. This WILL definitely be the last time he made the same mistake again. Ever!

He couldn’t risk having another kind of those ‘moments’ where his lover would be snuggling angelically in bed, making the other boy to restrain himself from pouncing on him at that moment. It was torture to the boxer. The way those gray-blue eyes winked seductively at him and the way those white pale skin invited him was too much for the poor guy to handle.

Damn it.

Akihiko hissed as he missed his shot. He really should have planned something better than this.

Forget and Forgive. His new motto. His new point in life. And if only Minato had understand more on the situation, this time maybe they would have more time together. But the latter had chosen to be again the wall in their relationship. Their dorm mates knew especially Junpei since he was the one who hooked them up in the first place. But the look on Mitsuru’s face when she walked in on them kissing was priceless.

Then again, it occurred to him that the new rule about anyone doing inappropriate acts in the command room was strictly pointed at them. The silver-haired boxer sighed, relaxing his muscles as he waited and waited. What had he done to deserve this? It was just so easy. A simple task. And he had failed to deliver it. The teenager scrunched up his face in anyway but amusement as he made another lunge again….only to fail miserably this time.

Again, he missed his shots. He hissed furiously, wondering since when his dorm mates had became so good at this.

“You know what, senpai? You reaaally should work on that new motto of yours.” The playful smirk on Junpei’s face as he came out of his room was getting on his nerves. “Think about how many troubles have it landed you in?”

Balling his fists in anger, Akihiko Sanada forced his mind to relax and think. The last time he used the two “F”s made him sleep all night on the couch. And apparently, today again was no different. He got into a small fight with his lover about what to have for lunch. After a few withdrawal symptoms, he had crawled back to Minato asking for forgiveness.

Then again, he left after that. And then again, Minato hadn’t said a freaking word either. He had thought his lover would actually agreed to it. He had thought Minato would again be the type to forgive and forget. Then again, Minato wasn’t the light-headed type either. Akihiko felt his soul had been sucked out of him.

And when Junpei received no reply, he huffed and walked back into Minato’s room, making Akihiko missed his shot once more as the door slammed shut in his face. Damn it.

Notes: This isn't much of a one shot. It's more like a drabble. A Very short drabble. But since drabbles are meant to be short eitherway, I will still call it a one shot, a very short one shot. Written to make my day.

Fanfic: Phantasm, Aki/Mina (1/1)

2008-07-25T02:33:45Z

Title: Phantasm
Pairing/Characters: Akihiko/Minato
Rating: M
Author: endiance
Status: Oneshot (1/1)
Genre: General, Romance
Summary: The touch was soft, mesmerizing and almost alluring. And Akihiko could almost felt he was warped between his fingers and yet, he could never ever let go.

It was just a brief touch and the older male couldn’t help craving for more. It had been like any other nights like before when everybody had gone to bed and him only and him were left in the lobby where they frequently sat. The moon shone bright like ever and the soft but sharp ticking of the clock alerted their minds, keeping them from falling asleep, unaware of their surroundings.

Developing quick reflexes and sharp intuitions to respond quickly to any attack was part of the training they had to go through. One slow move and the shadows would strike. It was not as though they were too weak and cowardly to not strike first but when it came down to the safety of their friends and families, casualties could never be afforded. Not now. Not ever. And definitely not their loved ones.

It was just for a brief moment and yet, the blood rushing to his adrenalines were enough to make him dizzy and sweaty. The sudden quiet atmosphere seemed to engulf the whole area. They were only seated two chairs apart and Akihiko Sanada was on the verge of a mental breakdown. It was not because of the fact that the temperature had strangely dropped to zero and the fact that he was probably shaking and shivering from the sudden drop in degree Celsius was clearly not the cause.

A nice night. A warm night. A cold night. The dark hour would come soon. Just a couple more minutes to pass. Tap. He thought coolly to himself, trying to implore some of the coolness he had whenever females approached him from near or far. It was annoying and yet, he couldn’t find himself to push them off. Maybe Junpei was right, he was just too good to people. So was this what he feared now? Maybe he had looked uncool. Maybe he had made a fool out of himself?

His mind scrambled around for positive thoughts, silently cursing Junpei at the back of his mind. That nosy boy would pay for it later ten times more than he could offer. The boxer raised his hands to wipe the sweat that threatened to fall off one of his silver brows before shifting uncomfortably in his seat, waiting and waiting for the exact time to act. He was cautious and alert, studying his other companion’s every move. The brief touches whenever he flipped the pages of his book, the shuffling of his bottoms in order to gain a more favorable seating, the awkward look thrown at Akihiko whenever he had caught the boy staring at his firmly toned muscles….

Gods, it was driving him wild.

He knew his feelings were not unrequited. He knew the other boy felt something towards him too. He knew it was not one look of admiration when he would plop on the seat beside him and whispered a soft thank you for his advices whenever things got too tough to handle. Their hands had brushed against each other’s pale skin every time and Akihiko was restraining his mind from dangerously stripping the blue-haired boy from his fitting school uniform before ravishing the boy’s mouth with his own.

So he had tapped his foot into a rhythm in order to keep his mind off such detestable things. He was beginning to think and act like Junpei. Was this love? The silver haired boxer had never given love or relationships a second thought. He had merely shrugged them as something bothersome, chucked it out of the door when it came his way and hitting someone feverish on the head if said person happened to mention about dozens of love notes which were littered in the bin. He had set his dreams on becoming the greatest fighter ever known.

That was until he found out that he suddenly developed a sudden interest in the newcomer, woke up with wet dreams almost every night, couldn’t concentrate on enhancing his skills in fighting, kept on day dreaming about something he never thought he wanted so much and of course, the need to have those brief touches and brushes of their skin to come in contact was never ending. He sighed softly to no one in particular absolutely knowing that his junior’s lovey dovey trait was rubbing on him badly.

But it wasn’t his fault that when he even realized the true meaning of love, it was too late. Akihiko Sanda had fallen hard. Solid hard.

“Senpai?...”

How was he going to tell him about this truth?

“Senpai….?”

His heart was aching bad and he knew the phantom in his heart was getting restless, aggressive and potentially… he didn’t even know what to describe the dark being anymore.

“Senpai!”

A brief shook on the shoulder. It was what took him out of his deep trance and he found himself staring into light blue orbs who stared back with hints of concern and worry. The blue bangs were covering his other eye again and Akihiko could barely suppress a soft smile as he bravely brushed across the now surprised boy’s pale skin. The orbs looked back in return before placing his right hand on his senpai’s forehead searching for any lightest chance of a fever.

The touch was soft, mesmerizing and almost alluring. And Akihikko could almost he was wrapped around his fingers. Grabbing the other boy’s hand unconsciously, he pulled Minato into a deep sullen kiss. It was like what he had expected. The pouty lips were soft and babyish. And it felt like it was a dream. No. It must surely be his dream. His ONLY dream. Only he was able to dream it. The touches, the sweet smile, the soft whispers, it was enough.

This was enough and so Akihiko Sanada had once again fallen hard for this young boy who had been there when his best friend died to oblige to his every needs and comfort. Feeling braver and bolder than ever, he deepened the kiss by nibbling on Minato’s bottom lip and the boy responded with a sot moan before plunging his tongue into the warm cavern, deliciously tasting every corner out. Not once leaving a spot un-violated and unexplored.

He could feel the boy now slipping onto his lap, enjoying it by clutching tightly on the boxer’s sweatshirt. After what felt like eternity, they finally broke apart. For once in his life of meeting the boy who carried it all, Arisato Minato planted a soft kiss on his senpai’s forehead. More staring ensued and he broke into a small chuckle. The boxer stared in amazement when it came to his senses that it wasn’t a dream, it was real.

And from the onwards, it was like phantasm. The never ending cravings he had craved were there. The clock stroke midnight. The dark hour came and the two lovers joined up in an eternal bliss.

Except for the male who was naturally banging his head on the wall on the other side of the room. Oh man…next time, Junpei Iori swore, he would definitely keep his advice to himself as he crumbled up two pieces of tissue paper before stuffing them into his ear. Tomorrow morning, he absolutely have to complain to Mitsuru about the sudden noise pollution he would be dealing every night from now on. Damn it.

Notes: Ah... Senpai/Junior fic? XD I'm totally in love with these two. DX This was my first attempt in the P3 fandom so am not sure if it's good or not. I love writing one shots. They calmed me instantly. Again, on a side note, Dark Hour = Fun.

#54. WTFWTFWTF

2008-07-22T12:03:07Z

#53. I 'loled' and wet my pants.

2008-07-21T00:14:00Z

Poor Len. And definitely poor Kaito.

T_T

I 'loled' and wet my pants.

But awesome video. I'm trying to register up onto Nico Nico Douga but failed since everything is in japanese. D: I think I should just go and uh start finding tutorials. <3 I downloaded vocaloid (Paid fricking 10 bucks for it) but don't know what to do with it. The program killed me from the inside out and hopefully, I will find a tutorial to help me with it soon since I'm very interested in it. :3

Nana was in a "ICY" mood once and she kept on showing me videos of ice skaters. I'loled' and 'drooled' at most of them. :3 And then we discussed. And we 'loled' and we discuss more.

Korean Culture thingy is on this saturday. Will of course be there to attend and fool around. Wonder how are they going to do this. =D I have kinda high hopes for it. But at that night time, I will have to go with my cousin to attend our relatives wedding. @.@ Which means there will be lots of expensive and luxurious food! Just dreaming on it made my mouth drooled.

But however, I'm not sure if we will be attending the wedding ceremony at the church in the afternoon. @.@ Maybe not. Oh and not only that, Lan Sing invited me to her house for her birthday. Nyahahaha.

Beware...cousin...beware. =D

#52. Bitcher..I mean Butcher. =.=

2008-07-18T00:55:46Z

Yesterday was disappointing. Very VERY disappointing. Is that the way to spell it? Don't know and I don't freaking care anymore. D< Today, am going to assist Nana's parents to burn the whole shop down. Will pocket a lighter just in case and probably a few boxes of matches. >_> Damn shop. First customer already give so bad impression.

So I went there with Piang and her uber amazing driving skills (Arigato Piang..XD) and Nana in the front seat. Yesh. I cannot bear to learn all those things again so I opted to being her personal slave. :D And Piang even turned on Gazette songs in her car. Thank you! X3 All was well until...

*DRAMATIC OPENING*

WHY?! WHY?! WHYWHYWHYWHWYHWHYWHWYHWYHWHWYWHWHY
WHWHWYHWYWHYWHYWHYWHHWYWHWHWYHWYWHYWHY?!!!!!

Gawds. =.= I was soooo pissed that I don't even know how to sepll anymore. MY KYOUYA OUTFIT IS UNFINISHED! THEY HAVENT EVEN TOUCH IT YET!!!

We sent it like two weeks ago and she even tell us the time and date to collect it! 17th! So we went there yesterday only to return back to school empty handed. WTF.

=.=

She could at least tell us she wanna postponed it or soemthing like that but nooooo...no news. No whatever. NO FRIGGING WHATEVER. >_> So we went there for nothing. Piang wanted to make her Tsunade outfit too but Anne's not there. Her employee says she's out. WTF. Work time and she's out? Hvae time to have fun but no time to work on my outfit.

Nana's starting to get worried on her Len's outfit too. Hopefully, when we go later AGAIN, we can straighten things out with her..with extra.

Nana's parents. >D

Beware...Anne...Beware. >D

#51. KitKat Mango!!! <3

2008-07-07T08:26:39Z

Arigato Veena! For handing my Kitkat mango when it arrived. Yesh. Ordered it via Veena. I was kinda shocked at first at how large the variety of KitKats are. D: I thought they were just limited to the ones we see at local supermarkets! Minus those lucky people who lived outside Brunei. They don't know how lucky they are. DX

I haven't rip open the box and taste it yet. Since it's kind of expensive. D: $5 something for just a small box? D: So later me and my aunt will be slicing it into tiny pieces. T_T So that our entire family can share. @.@ It isn't normal a Mango KitKat goes around. LOL. XD We're just that sad.

After a bit of confirmation, Piang wanted to do Akaito cause she says she's fed up of blue. (Her Konan was blue. XD) So now, am doing Kaito. XD yesh. Blue. Which also means I ahve to get a red wig since am going to be doing Lavi anyhow. @.@ But I know where to get some good quality wigs online. Ebay. Where else? But I heard there's a supplier in a Malaysian Forum. Sold a lot of wigs already. Mainly for cosplay. heard they even style it!

@.@ But the wigs are all like 100+ RM. MUST WORK WORK WORK!!!

D:

#50. 50th Post~ Yay!

2008-07-04T06:10:42Z

I learnt a lot of stuffs yesterday. That's all I can say. D: And got called a fagget because of it. I have been a terrible person lately. Very very terrible. And a bad one as well. With the help of Piang and Nana, I managed to finish my Kyouya cosplay early but of course, bought the cloth and even sent the cloth.

Paid 5 bucks because of it since I have been bad and degraded her fuel tank. XD Sorry Piang!

After school, we dropped off at CheezeBox. Ate a curry chicken. Piang = Veges Lover. Nana = Chop Chop. D:

I said it before and am going to say it again. I'll share with Nana next time. We went to look for wigs after that and realised that HotMart have a LOT. (Brunei Standard) And when I mean lots, I don't mean like 50+. Brunei is too good for that. About 10, I think. Didn't even bother to count. I set my eyes on that pretty blonde short wig. >D And Piang found her Matsumoto wig as well as Tsunade's.

XD

Mai finally got out of her "Akito/Agito" obsession to be Nanao from Bleach. It took a lot of suggestions and head-bangings to help her decide. But since she's doing it. Then it's worth it. For a list of the things I learn, visit Paing's blog as well as take a look on her food post. Thats what our food looks like.

Like i said, I learnt lots of stuffs yesterday.

@Veena: T___T I love you.

#49: More rants and long notes

2008-07-02T11:14:05Z

It was a complete success with 30++ people joining in for the meet. It was fun! Although we didn't really manage to complete the part to socialize with the rest of the deviant artists, we managed to have our share of fun by cosplaying. Cosplaying is a first in Brunei. I think only a few actually cosplayed including me. Most people came just to look at the cosplay though. Obviously. And there's not a lot of cosplayers as we were once told. =.=

I wonder why... (sarcasm)

I went as Haruhi Suzumiya from MoHS, Nana as Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran High, Piang as Konan from Naruto, Dee as Karen from Code Geass. A guy went as Roy Mustang and we were like wow! Awesome outfit. XD That proves not all Bruneian tailors are inexperience with costumes. Me and the gang came up with our own conclusion!

Make another batch of cosplays.

LOL! Doesn't really make much sense.

We are plannning to do a group cosplay with bleach so I think it should be okay. But before that, the three of us settle on a conclusion. We decided to do our own individual cosplay first so it will be once more like a...crossover again. @.@

-> Me: Kyouya from Ouran
-> Nana: Len from Vocaloid
-> Piang: Akira from Lucky Star

XDDD! We will be going out tomorrow to get the cloth and everything. Yesh! We are abusing Piang's ability to drive. XD

Note: If anyone know who made this awesome Reita banner am using at the moment. Please kindly leave a comment so I can credit. X3

Fanfic:
Tin Soldier is going to be posted soon if everything goes well with the other half of the chapter. Yes. Chapter 2 is still in the works but I have the plot written down and eveyrthing. I heard from my cousin that it was a heavy read since it's very much focused on emotions. That's part of the style you see. Jae, as most of you has read it, is a very mentally unstable person. And I doubt I will be making his life more less tougher than the minute. His childhood was worse so he didn't get to experience the love that normal families will give due to uncertain circumstances. You will have to continue reading if you want to know what happened and what's going to happen. So wait up for my updates! :D

And as I mentioned it before, Yunho and the guy who introduced Jae to his "other job" are not the same person so please do not confused them together. Jae meant the person was his first (since he brought him into this) and also his last (Jae's policy was applied to this case). For those who read it seemed to have gotten the wrong image. I'm sorry if most of you got mixed up because of this. That's how I wrote it. And of course, this will partly be my ranting journal and also a sub-fanfiction journal where I share works which I have written. So expect more fictions from me, not only from the TVXQ fandom but also from others as well.

On a side note, you might found out by now that the tags are not yet organized. I'm working on them right now. @.@ Sorry for the inconvenience to fully browse through my journal easily and more efficiently instead of going back ten pages to just find one post. =.=;; Fanfictions will be under the Fanfic: ### thingy while rants will just be rants. XD Only chaptered stories will have their own tags. If you wish to find everything by their own ratings, I have made them possible too. And also for those who wish to find the stories by their fandoms. Oneshots will only be categorized under their own fandoms as well as ratings. Since just 1 post per tag is cracking my space. =.=;;

For those who friended me just for the fanfictions...I have to say that I'm sorry for not adding you back. This is because of the fact that you are not adding me because of the sake of reading my journal posts and I hate to clutter my friend list. (Not to say that I have many) if you like to become a friend of mine, please comment to be added. Otherwise, you will not be added. The fanfictions are for public viewing so I don't have to add you because of it. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh back there. HOWEVER, (yes, there's a however), unless one fanfiction is friend-lock, I will add you guys back so just leave it the way it is for now. :D

Fanfic: Tin Soldier, Yunjae (1/??)

2008-06-30T00:17:50Z

I posted this on Winglin.net. >D

Title: Tin Soldier
Pairing/Characters: Yunjae
Rating: NC-17
Author: endiance
Status: Chaptered (1/??)
Genre: Romance, Angst,
Summary: He was like a walking tin soldier, the odd one standing out, so in order to move on with his life, he took up two jobs. But what he didn't know is that his life is being overrun by a series of events. If it's a sin to steal, then it is definitely a sin to love someone who he had sinned once.
Warning: A take on the realistic side of human beings. Attempted rape. Angst. Abuse. And most important of all, smutty scenes.

Tin Soldier

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Chapter One
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The moment I set my eyes on him, I knew he was the one. But as fate had cruelly put it, I knew I would never have my way. I was a cursed child. Why, you ask? My mother called me that. My sister called me that. And even my father who had loved me dearly called me that. They said the beauty which glowed on my perfectly featured face was the part they loathed the most.

They wanted so badly to rip it apart, crushed it into tiny little pieces so they could use it on their faces, hoping that someday they could reach into the same being like me. As usual, I laughed at their pathetic faces and harshly commented no matter what they did, they would never look as beautiful as me… Never in their entire life…

I sighed to no one in particular, absorbing the untouched piles of books placed on the counter before me, biting my lips in a frustrated manner. It really was beginning to get on my nerves! The nervous croaking, the sound of papers shuffling as well as the way the girls giggled whenever they turned to stare irked me to no end. I wouldn’t say I hate this place. It was the only job I could afford with my low academic status.

I certainly wasn’t the brightest of all students in those good old days but at least I was able to distinguish between Japanese and Korean. That was good enough, the manager had said simply, it was good enough. And as long as I put in the effort to not be “moved” by those disturbances, it should be okay. I should be fine.

However, in the back of my mind, I still couldn’t believe I chose this over a regular paying work in the office. They didn’t tell me what I would be doing but I did suspect a bit of hostility when they had sniggered rudely in my face. Again, my education was being put forward…so unable to take it any longer, I took up this relaxing job instead.

It wasn’t as if I hated this job. The job itself was relaxing, peaceful and not a lot of noise, except for those overwhelming chatting rising sometimes. It was a damn good job but the pay was low. Not that good as I imagined but with my low education status, there wasn’t much of a choice. It was either this or going back to my parents… I scrunched up my face at that very thought, shaking my head left and right like a wet puppy trying to dry itself off.

Biting my lips again (I swore there’s going to be a bruise sooner or later if I kept on doing that.), I forced myself once again to concentrate on the pile of books on the counter. The annoyed look on the customer’s face was obvious. He was getting pissed from all of the waiting but he was too polite to snap me out of my trance.

I smiled apologetically, grabbing the books in one swift movement, scanning them one by one before placing them neatly aside for later while my other was busy flipping the cards searching for his. It took me less than a while to find it since the newcomer had destroyed the arrangement.

I could still faintly remember the angry look on her pretty face as she had countered on the fact that she knew nothing and I should have been the one to do it instead of her. Her face had shown no mercy and the way her breast bounced as she threw her beautifully-shaped body on my boss was alluring, even for me. At that thought, I laughed again quietly so no one could hear me. Her beauty could never match mine. After all, I was cursed with this face ever since I was born.

A librarian was a tough job. I had to put up with shushing the readers up, reminding them to keep their voice down and if it wasn’t done properly, my boss would appear and told me off. It was something I had beginning to manage after all these years of working there.

I had grown to tolerate almost everything in my life, the frequent callings which I never answered, the way those group of teenage girls stared as if I was the odd one standing out, as well as the way the mail man had looked seductively at me whenever I went out. It was a daily routine I had to once again put up with. The pressure it put on my life was still along the lines of stability. I should be grateful. I should be content. But somehow, there was one thing I knew I couldn’t wish for. I didn’t deserve it and probably never would…

Taking in a deep breath, I quickly scanned the books in my possession before handing it back to the customer with a big smile on my face. I didn’t care if it was fake or not… nothing matters anymore. At least, I could still strike up the courage to smile...seriously…at least…I could still be the person I always wanted to be, even if I was forgotten, hated, cursed…I was happy. Even if it wasn’t true. I had to stand strong. I couldn’t let a thing like that bring me down. I couldn’t!

Not when I have a little sister to take care of. I loved her with all my life. I smiled again, glancing at the large grandfather clock every now and then to count the minutes left for the hour hand to strike five. Perfect! One more minute till five and I could leave my shift for now. I couldn’t simply let my sister wait. Tapping my pencil impatiently on the wooden counter, I counted quietly, whispering the numbers in my mind, waiting and waiting for the clock to strike five.

My stuffs were packed already into a backpack which I had grown to adore. Yongyi (my sister) had made it for me. She said it was for her favorite brother in the whole entire world, not that she had lots of brothers. I was her only one and her only family who she would ever see and loved. Believe it or not, when Yongyi was born, I stole her from my own parents to give them a taste of their own medicine. I wanted them to feel the pain of losing a child.

I wanted them so badly to suffer…that I could clearly cared less for Yongyi. It was her eyes that made me felt guilty. It was her playful gurgling that made me adore her. She was my one and only, so I never gave her back. I swore she had my eyes. The faint memory of my parents crying their hearts out when they realized their precious baby was gone made my day. I was crazy. I always knew I was crazy and a bit of a psycho at heart but I never knew I would have gotten this far. Nobody realized it was the cursed child who did it. He was jealous of the love she received by many.

He was jealous of every attention given to her at birth. So I’m going to take everything away from her slowly and at the same time, relieving the sins I committed by loving her, hoping that someday when she learned the truth of this madman, she would still forgive me…and declare that I am still her most favorite brother in the whole entire world. I only wished for that much. Just that much…

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“Brother…Are you okay?” Yongyi asked, snapping me out of my thought. I turned to face her, suddenly realizing that she was a few steps away from me. A smile wormed its way onto my face as I laughed softly, running back towards her in a childish manner, ruffling her hair happily.

“I’m okay. You must be hungry, aren’t you? Brother had whipped up your favorite dish tonight.” I replied cheerfully, holding her bag with one hand while grabbing her hand on the other.

The innocent child had looked hesitant at first but her frown soon turned into a bright smile, one that could almost rivaled mine. “Okay!” She happily answered back, giggling into my pale hand. “Brother Jaejoong makes the best dinner I have ever tasted!”

My smile slowly faded as I watched her trudging up the stairs to our tiny apartment as innocent and naïve as she ever was. Such purity…such innocence…and I could crush it in such a few words. If only she knew that the brother she had loved for the past five years of her life was a demon in disguise…she would never look at him the same way again. How would she reacted if she found out I rid her of all those gifts? How would she reacted if she found out that I was a lie from the start till the finish?

If only she knew…I sobbed. If only she knew…

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I flopped up my hair a bit, giving it a sort of a wavy feel as I applied a soft makeup to my face. I was careful not to poke myself in the eye with a brand new eyeliner I just bought few days ago. I wasn’t very much use to using one. I never had to. That was until a deep husky voice had whispered into my ears that…I looked even more sexier with one. The voice was what had me thinking and going… I shook my thoughts away, applying a light layer of lip gloss to make it shine more. Twisting the lid close, I looked at the mirror and posed. Still as gorgeous as ever. I didn’t notice the door had swung open and a sleepy-looking Yongyi walked in reluctantly.

“Brother Jae…? Are you going somewhere again?” She asked groggily, probably too tired to even open her eyes.

It was not surprising, considering that it was already late. And the little girl was supposed to be in bed by now. I felt like scolding her angrily for not going to bed in time but I had to keep my cool. If not, I would have lost track of myself. The ice would shatter and she would see the real me once more. The ’me’ which I had been wanting so hard to forget.

I made my way towards her and smiled softly. “I will be out for a while. Don’t worry, Yong… Big brother will be back. I promise. So for now, just go to sleep…Hmm?”

She nodded briefly and ran back into her room, saying a short goodnight on the way.

Yeah…I promised. I will be back and then you will make my life a living hell once more with that pathetic face of yours. I loved you yet, I loathed you. “What do you want from me?” I whispered quietly.

With that, I turned and walked out into the night.

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Because of the fact that my job as a librarian wasn’t really bringing any source of income to the little family I had to raise, my friend had one day brought me to venture into this sick fantasy of his. And as you might had guessed by now, he was my first. And also, my last. You could say that I’m now more of a two-faced person. Quiet and shy by day, seductive and hell of a skilled seductive guy at night.

The night time was the only time I allowed my other self to roam about freely, releasing my pent up frustrations on a stranger I barely knew by sleeping with them. Yeah. An occupation which proved rewarding on either receiving end. I get the loot and he gets all the pleasure, which I also gets with a higher extreme intensity. It was an easy money. They would put a bid on me and the highest bidder would get the most beautiful being in the planet. Me. And also a hell of a lover. But Kim Jaejoong had a policy which I would always put ahead first. I never slept with the same person twice, no matter how hard he forced me. I would never do that.

I have this weird habit into getting attached emotionally to people if I do it with them more than once. It was more of a one night stand thing. Nothing more than that. And no matter how hot and unbelievingly good in bed he was, a no is a no. Of course, there were times when they could get a bit pesky. One tried to spike my drink once at the pub and another had tried to rape me when I was on my way home.

I considered myself a lucky person so you would have guessed. I was saved again and again whether by cops or passer-bys. The passer-bys were the better ones though. They even let me clobber their headlights out. So here I am now, leaning against the bar, smacking my lips and batting my eyelids as they fight over me. My life was brilliant. All was going according to plan. And moving in the pace I wanted it to be. There were no obstacles. Thank god for that.

And I was going to be someone’s bed mate for the night. It was a spur of a moment kind of thing, I was just about to move out with the man who claimed me for the night until a voce which I knew too well spoke out.

“$5000.”

Everything came into a halt. Nobody dared to move an inch. Beads of sweats trickled down my skin. I knew that voice. It was like everything happened yesterday. I wished for repentance. I wished for everything to be like before. But I knew it was impossible… And since he offered a much more higher price than this loser, I turned on my heels and said, “I’m all yours.”

The victorious smirk on the man’s face said everything as he swiftly caught me in his strong arms, directing me to the nearest hotel in the street. The moment I set my eyes on him, I knew he was the one. Just by looking at him made me realized how pitiful I was. His appearance at the pub surprised me. After all, he didn’t look like the type of person who came all the way down just to get a good fuck. I felt like a body without a soul, standing there looking dumbfounded at his cool appearance. I couldn’t believe it. There he stood, shining brightly as ever with his fitting brown coat, an appealing black tie and a neat business shirt. His long slender face, the strong jaw line, his eyes sharp as ice and the high nose made me shivered. After all these years, the man hadn’t changed much.

My footsteps were lagging behind as he led me into the room. People were staring again especially the workers. It was no big deal since I came here every night just with a different person. I was beginning to lose to myself once more. The Kim Jaejoong that was locked up tight for the past years was beginning to be freed. I hated myself. I hated the man in front of me.

Yunho ah…Why? Why did you come back? I cried internally, my heart bleeding painfully. Yunho ah…You don’t know just how much I missed you…

On the inside I knew, even when I had been such a devil, I wanted his warmth so…

Please forgive me, Yunho ah…

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Note: @.@ Okay...Not what I expected. @.@ But yeah. I wanted this to be sort of a strong story with a strong plot and everything but meh. @.@ It turned out more of something like this.

IMPORTANT NOTE: There's a couple of mix-ups here and there about Yunho and the guy who introduced Jae to his "other job". They're not the same person so please do not confused them together. Jae meant the person was his first (since he brought him into this) and also his last (Jae's policy was applied to this case).

#48. Leecher

2008-06-25T05:21:31Z

I should add another new term to myself. A LEECHER. Not a SEEDER. But a LEECHER. D: A goddamn leecher. I would have gladly reupload everything to attone for the sins I have commited. Finally gotten my lazy ass off to actually start downloading their concerts. @.@ After all these years, the thought of downloading a 1GB worth of file always turns me off cause with the insanely slow speed and everything.

But ever since I got my broadband. My life has been much more better. Nyahahahahaha. Insanely ridiculous. But true. So off to leech more! >D I downloaded an awesome Reita Mood Theme but never motivated myself enough to actually upload it onto LJ. D:

#47. D:

2008-06-24T13:14:58Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAGA! D: HOW CAN I FORGET?!!!!

#46. Savings

2008-06-23T12:17:16Z

I have been so engrossed in Maple that I barely have the time for anything else. School's reopening in a week's time and I haven't done my homeworks or read for the upcoming MPR tests.

Oh well, back to the old drawing board. I knew I promised Piang a Reita/Ruki story and my sister a Kaname/Zero story. And my reviewers a Leon/Cloud story and another batch of reviewers to continue my DN/HP crossover story. Sora no Hoshi my...incomplete HaoYoh stories and oh shit. I have loads to write! @.@

D:

Might as well get started!!! @.@

#45. Flashbacks

2008-06-23T05:16:07Z

I have been meaning to actually post about what happened for the past few weeks. Of course, there's pictures to be shown to everyone who's reading especially to my friends. But I have been busy lately - MAPLING. yes, people. Mapling. You know, the popular 2D-game which involves KS-ing. Killing Porings look-alike. Buying. Selling. Hunting. PMS-ing. And more..KS-ing the ~~noobs~~ newts.

>D

And yes, I have been busy doing that for the past holiday. I didn't go to school on the last day though but I managed to bring myself to ~~magnificently clobber every maplers who decided to ks me~~ do some house chores around the house before going back to ~~more kapow-ing and clobbering~~ Reita oogling. D: My life is the win. XD

I reached LVL 131 in Maple. And that's something to be celebrated about. >D Last Sunday, me and my friends decided to go out and first, we drowned ourselves in CheeseBox the Magnificent. Don't let the name fool you. They're not 100% CHEESY to my dismay. I thought they were just selling food out of cheese but I did drown myself in a Plain Waffle. Stuffs were too expensive. Couldn't afford the others. And so my waffle came in two circles. I'm in love instantly.

Maple Syrup is always the win. Didn't manage to take any pictures though cause they were just too tempting to leave it there...uneaten. @.@

After that, we went for a little shopping. XDD Somehow we felt richer then and made more crystals. I got myself a Reita crystal with the picture my friend gave me. If my mom didn't stop me, I would have made myself a shrine right then. @.@ Then, we drowned ourselves in coffee zone in which I remembered its FATHER'S DAY and I didn't wish my dad in time. SHOOT. @.@

Sharing is the thing we were supposed to do but somehow, as expensive as Coffeee Zone sounds, we ordered a lot (again) and didn't manage to finish them. What a waste of food. but we played some scrabble. It was fun....But if people took a closer look at what we were actually doing. We might get thrown out and land flat on our butts.

GAY Scrabble. =D Courtsey of Jeslyn, Jackelyn, Nisah and Amal.

And then yesterday, my uncle decided to crash at Coffee Zone AGAIN! @.@ It was sooo embarassing though when the blocks toppled over and fell. We were practically screaming and everyone was staring at us. ROFLMAO.

EDIT: NEW LAYOUT UP. UPDATED PROFILE. UPDATED SIDEBAR.

#44. Surgery

2008-06-19T03:39:32Z

It was just supposed to be a simple check-up. Nothing more than that. The pain was getting into me so i went to see the doctor. My wisdom tooth is going to erupt soon and there's this spot besides my tooth on the x-ray.

So again, I have to go see a specialist about it. It didn't go well for me. And my left brow kept on twitching like there was no tomorrow. As usual, not that I'm being plain stupid but it's true. The doctor said I'll have to undergo a surgery to get that tooth removed. And I saw the procedure on the notice board. It's definitely not my definition of pretty. D:

She told me that my gum got inflamed probably meant that it's swollen since it's covering my lower right wisdom tooth so it will cause difficulty in swallowing and biting. It's better for me to just monitor it for a while since this is the first time I have this.

I SAW THE PROCEDURES IN REMOVING IT! SHIT!! I DON'T WANNA GO THROUGH IT!! D:

The thing is if I do the surgery, I might be numb for life (mylower right jaws). And my close friends know how painful that will be for me since I love food and everything. D:

But at least I have an upcoming event in my mind. I found the bloody skirt in the closet. >_> My mom bought it for me but she forgot to show it to meh. @.@ So now I still need the shirt and the socks. And a nice ribbon to match it with. @.@

#43. Freshness

2008-06-12T09:40:21Z

Okay. So breathe. Deviant Meet coming up. So breathe. Nothing to worry about. It's okay. No skirt. No Rukia. That's all I have to say. But I won't let that stop me from reaching my goal. The Meet is soon. VERY SOON. Sooner than you think!

D< Dammit.

And I just finished my exams so can parteh. XDDD

#42. Kon

2008-06-10T05:46:29Z

DEVIANTART MEET!!! D;

Excuse me while I go scream myself dry.

>D I still don't know whether to go or not but believe me, MINATO ain't gonna be there. Instead, Rukia is.

I still got 3 more weeks to prepare so excuse me again, while I go and stab myself. Oh and Nana said she will borrow me Kon. And I am going to borrow her my Ouran Tie and Badge while to Piang my blue wig.

>D

#41. Thoughts

2008-06-07T07:41:51Z

刺莲啊...

什么叫虐?
什么叫心疼?

「呜…我们的相爱到底哪里错了…」

他们的爱哪里错了???

他说到好对阿！为甚麼命运要玩弄他们呢？明明是这麽相爱对方的！！

天啊！刺莲啊... 恨死你了！！

让我的心变到好痛。。。好想大大声哭出来哦。。。

Piang。不要笑我哦。。。这个故事真的写的太美好了。好感动阿。。。

就是这一句，完全让我体会到他们的爱了。。

「结婚吧…」

我将头埋在他的发间，嘴唇流泄出呜咽的声音…告诉我，我就活在你心脏里最深的地方…告诉我，在那场激烈的爱情落幕后，你会再度拥抱我，让我从此寄生在你的心上，把你的一切都交付予我。

「我们…结婚，然后一起生活。」

哇！！又要哭出来了! 真的对这个文篇又爱又恨啊！

T————————————————————————T

Sorry. Suddenly turned emo. XD

#40. Finishing Touches

2008-06-07T06:11:28Z

I have been busy lately. Guess what I have to deal with everyday.

1. Sims 2
2. Sims 2
3. sims 2
4. Copying and pasting Gaishyeon
5. Copying and pasting Gaishyeon
6. Sims 2
7. Sims 2

And we're back to square one.

@.@ This shows how much I should get my ass of my brand new laptop for once and hit on the books. It is after all the biggest exam in the year of my life. And I should be hitting it every now and then so i won't get rusty with my memorizing the texts. My friend commented on how I can memorize things easily. True. She has a point there but when it comes to remembering things , my brain didn't fail me once or twice.

It FAILED ME HUNDREDS OF TIME. D:

I apologize to everyone who have to put up with reminding my homework every now and then. I don't know what's wrong with me. Okay. Maybe I do, but I swear I'm going nuts.

So i found the chinese translation to the famous YunJae fanfiction and I'm loving every seconds of reading it. It's so sad and so....sad!

I wish i own the orignal copy since it was published. YES. PUBLISHED INTO A NOVEL.

D:!!!

Damn it.

#39. Crystals

2008-05-15T03:13:27Z

The mail came again yesterday. And now my TnC set is partially complete. the box is undamanged. (Thankfully!) And Akira looks as good as ever. Minus a few wears at the corners but it's still qualifies for the "collector's value". A coupun was enclosed with the box. $5 off every purchase. :D Neat huh? Better than nothing. A TnC One Coin Figure came with the box. I was hoping that it was either Gunzi, Kiriwar, Shiki or Akira but I got Nano instead.

An attachable suicase and a cute neko came with it along with a card. So now I'm officially happy.

And I went to take my crystals that i left to be made at this store in town. Costs me a bundle. You just give them whatever picture you want and choose the shape of the crystals. And wala, you can pick it up a day after. Neat huh? I made a Lelouch and a Saga one. And they're perfectly AWESOME!

Sorry for the lousy image quality. the crystals are a bit transparent so you can see through them. My friends went crazy and amde quite a few saying that they don't need figurines anymore. Opening a persona crystal museum is quite enough. @.@

#38. Fantasizing~

2008-05-13T06:57:09Z

I'm working on another Aki/Mina oneshot. Still reluctant to post mine in the LJ. And I haven't finish my other oneshot which is soemthing hospital related. Hopefully, it will be loved. And my cousin still refused to challenge me other things besides Everyone/Mina which is starting to get me headaches. @.@ I simply cannot THINK OF JUNPEI/MINATO except in the friendship category which she blatantly refused. So I think I'll just ignore her and go on my ways. Much more better that way instead of plaguing my mind with Junpei/Mina nonsense.

These came in the mail a few days ago and please ignore the "untidiness" of my shelf. I'm still trying to figure out where to put all the stuffs I bought. Damn it. I WANT A FREAKING COLLECTION CASE. D: Sad, isn't?

MY TOGAINU NO CHI-NESS. Jackelyn passed this to me a few days ago. She's the nicest person I have ever know but somehow, she has a habit of worrying about things and having people pushed her over. @.@ STAND STRONG, GIRL! You must stand strong. D:

And guess what me and my cousin did yesterday along with PC IN THE CHEMISTRY LAB AT SCHOOL?

D: ABUSING LAWLIET. D:

I love my nendoroid~ :D

#37. Fabuluos~ HAPPY BELATED MOTHER'S DAY!

2008-05-13T06:41:56Z

HAPPY BELATED MOTHER'S DAY! I LOVE YOU ~~although you're sometimes a huge pain in the ass since I know I'm the source to your pain and I'm so frigging sorry so hopefully you can forgive me for being such a terrible ass~~ MOM!

And I thought I was being stupid enough. D: So in order to make up for the major headaches (and I mean MAAJOR T_T), my sisters teamed up to buy her a boombastic cake from the awesome and seetilicious Swenson. THE ICE CREAMS THERE ARE SIMPLY GORGEOUS AND ALMOST DELICIOUSLY AWESOME. So those who thought that swenson's are only suitable for people of the higher class are simply wrong! Do give it a try. I'm sure that you'll feel like going to heaven once you tried out the different types of ice-creams they are offering there.

I didn't manage to take a picture of the cake. But here's a picture of the bouquet of flowers I gave my mom. It was like presenting a prize only that she didn't cry and wept but nearly nagged on how much does the flowers costs. yeah. @.@ Huge pain in the neck. we went for Thai FOOD! And they're just simply awesome so I wish I have the time to go to there again. :D The apple juices they have there is super mega cheap and super mega BIG. XL SIZE.

We couldn't afford expensive dinners so we decided to settle with Thai Food in Gadong. ;_; I was hoping we could go to RBC for a nice cuisine. But last time, we did went to eat at Sushi tei. It was another wonderful experience, minus the tissue which appeared instead of my EGGS on the conveyor belt. I practically fainted when it passed by me while I was aiming for the Eggs which I think will be just around the corner soon enough. @.@

Everything was pretty much gone when I decided to take some pictures of our "Japanese-sey moment. while my youngest sister fiddle around trying to figure out how to freaking use chopsticks. Sakai eh.

After eating at that Thai restaurant and having a hell of a time, we wnt home, have some peach jelly, wtach AH LONG, THEN FREAKING GO KARAOK-ING until our head burst. >D I bet a lot of poeple file complaints at us since it was late at night. *bows down and apologize* After that, we gobble down what's left of the plate.